Rules of the Game
This is post 18 of Section II. To begin at the beginning, go here. Section II begins here.
“Learning, not learning, reading, not reading,” Gregory was murmuring, rubbing her down to the rhythm of the words. “It’s all beside the point. That’s all just language for your statement of teaching philosophy. Sure. Tell them you’re for sharing authority in the classroom, generating enthusiasm through hands-on projects—don’t forget group work and self-directed learning. Go ahead. It’s just words, I’m telling you. The bottom line is, they win their game, you win yours. I guarantee you. Intelligent young woman like you, you get your degree, first thing you know you’ll be hired tenure track. You could even move into administration, eventually. Maybe you could even be a dean. Change things around a little. But first, you have to play the game, make that hege-money.”
He stopped massaging and peered round into her face again. She forced a smile at his little pun.
“I tell you what,” he said, encouraged. “Lizzy’s still on the computer. Let’s pop in a yoga CD and order some spinach pizza. I’ll open a bottle of Chardonnay—what do you say?”
Like a scarecrow, Scarecrow man can only feel secure in his
masculinity if others constantly and visibly react to it [Are You an
Emotional Junky?, page 152]. If you are committed to a relationship
with Scarecrow man and have taken the first steps toward setting
emotional dependence aside (see Chapter 4, above), you will have to
help him get off the emotional roller coaster with you. Build him up
whenever you can. Agree with him. Compliment him. Remember
that his greatest fear is that he is stuffed with nothing but straw and
reassure him at every turn.
At first this approach may seem “phony” or dishonest. But you
don’t need to lie, just highlight his good points. Start by making a list of
as many as you can think of on your own. . . . In the end, you will help
your man find his inner substance, his true self-worth. And your reward
will be a stable, healthy relationship.
“Yoga—that’s a great idea,” Chloe said warmly.
He did seem to brighten up. “Jazz, or guided meditation?”
“Why don’t you choose?”
Continue
“Learning, not learning, reading, not reading,” Gregory was murmuring, rubbing her down to the rhythm of the words. “It’s all beside the point. That’s all just language for your statement of teaching philosophy. Sure. Tell them you’re for sharing authority in the classroom, generating enthusiasm through hands-on projects—don’t forget group work and self-directed learning. Go ahead. It’s just words, I’m telling you. The bottom line is, they win their game, you win yours. I guarantee you. Intelligent young woman like you, you get your degree, first thing you know you’ll be hired tenure track. You could even move into administration, eventually. Maybe you could even be a dean. Change things around a little. But first, you have to play the game, make that hege-money.”
He stopped massaging and peered round into her face again. She forced a smile at his little pun.
“I tell you what,” he said, encouraged. “Lizzy’s still on the computer. Let’s pop in a yoga CD and order some spinach pizza. I’ll open a bottle of Chardonnay—what do you say?”
Like a scarecrow, Scarecrow man can only feel secure in his
masculinity if others constantly and visibly react to it [Are You an
Emotional Junky?, page 152]. If you are committed to a relationship
with Scarecrow man and have taken the first steps toward setting
emotional dependence aside (see Chapter 4, above), you will have to
help him get off the emotional roller coaster with you. Build him up
whenever you can. Agree with him. Compliment him. Remember
that his greatest fear is that he is stuffed with nothing but straw and
reassure him at every turn.
At first this approach may seem “phony” or dishonest. But you
don’t need to lie, just highlight his good points. Start by making a list of
as many as you can think of on your own. . . . In the end, you will help
your man find his inner substance, his true self-worth. And your reward
will be a stable, healthy relationship.
“Yoga—that’s a great idea,” Chloe said warmly.
He did seem to brighten up. “Jazz, or guided meditation?”
“Why don’t you choose?”
Continue
posted by Hobbes at 6:54 PM
8 Comments:
She has to make him feel good so he can comfort her and make her feel good? Isn't that what it means when you patronize someone -- to tell them what they want to hear?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Icy, aren't you afraid Lula will see that link?
Chloe should have nickered while taking sugar frmo his hand.
T&I: Thanks.
Doug: See what you think after a few more episodes.
I deleted the link, but who cares really. I see her often as she lives just a couple blocks away, but I don't want to associate with her and her family and friends. She snorts, but it's not sugar. The police have even warned me to stay away from that bunch. There is nothing I can do and patronizing is just sending them a signal that they can take advantage of someone. If you hug her, she picks your pocket. She stole from us and seems she can't enter a store without lifting something. They say Jeffery Domar was one of the nicest people you could ever meet, but being nice to him would not change the darkness that lies below. I am anxious to see what happens in Chloe's relationship because in my 30 years of marriage, being nice to each other never worked, and we had to be blunt and sometimes say things that sounded cruel to each other to bring out truth which created the true bond of love between us. We support each other, but honestly.
Weirsdo,
I've been wondering ever since stumbling upon the pansi files, if your commentors here all know each other in real life or mostly all, except for me?
GEL: Sorry if I'm late in getting to this; I don't get e-mail notification or check back frequently.
No. We are all just kindred souls who met on line, except my kids, Mall Diva and Toyplayer.
Green Eyed Lady - I felt the same way coming upon these pages as well as that of some of the commentors. Must be something about us green eyed ladies :)
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