Satanic Verses
This is post 41 of Section III. To begin at the beginning, go here. Section II begins here. Section III begins here.
“Well I never suspected it, but according to Chloe, that book might as well be the Satanic Verses. She blamed it and us for every problem she’s ever had. She said we completely failed to understand the importance of socialization or multiple learning styles—What was that honking?”
Bennett had been clutching the door handle for some time. “Oh nothing. I think you ran a red light back there.” It seemed his ordeal was not over yet.
“I’m sorry, but she got me so worked up. Does she ever have that effect on you? Anyway, we, along with L. Frank Baum, have ruined her life by turning her into a geek. Oh—And we drove Robert to homosexuality. She actually said that.”
“And you said?”
“A lot of things I probably should have said a long time ago. I told her she wasn’t in Kansas any more, and that if she’d learned anything from that book she should know that no one was going to wave some magic wand and make her life perfect. I told her you and I gave our kids the finest education available, and if that made me the Wicked Witch of the West, then I happily accepted the title. I was just telling her that no grandchild of mine was going to end up an intellectually challenged, socially delayed, Ritalin-popping alternative learner, when Lizzy began to scream.”
Bennett nodded, remembering. “She has terrific breath control.”
Gwen hit the brake with unnecessary violence this time. “Fortunately, your call interrupted us, or I don’t know what would have happened.”
Continue
“Well I never suspected it, but according to Chloe, that book might as well be the Satanic Verses. She blamed it and us for every problem she’s ever had. She said we completely failed to understand the importance of socialization or multiple learning styles—What was that honking?”
Bennett had been clutching the door handle for some time. “Oh nothing. I think you ran a red light back there.” It seemed his ordeal was not over yet.
“I’m sorry, but she got me so worked up. Does she ever have that effect on you? Anyway, we, along with L. Frank Baum, have ruined her life by turning her into a geek. Oh—And we drove Robert to homosexuality. She actually said that.”
“And you said?”
“A lot of things I probably should have said a long time ago. I told her she wasn’t in Kansas any more, and that if she’d learned anything from that book she should know that no one was going to wave some magic wand and make her life perfect. I told her you and I gave our kids the finest education available, and if that made me the Wicked Witch of the West, then I happily accepted the title. I was just telling her that no grandchild of mine was going to end up an intellectually challenged, socially delayed, Ritalin-popping alternative learner, when Lizzy began to scream.”
Bennett nodded, remembering. “She has terrific breath control.”
Gwen hit the brake with unnecessary violence this time. “Fortunately, your call interrupted us, or I don’t know what would have happened.”
Continue
posted by Hobbes at 5:27 AM
3 Comments:
Hope you had a nice holiday and trip or whatever it was. Now back to... oh, I got confused the first time I read this, like, who was talking. I think I got it now. I guess it must be the parents vs. their kids, sort of. I'm just having trouble figuring who's in Kansas and who's in Oz. I missed a lot not having children.
Yeah, welcome back. Next time send us some chapters in advance. (By which I mean both you and your work were missed.)
Thanks. I wanted to get more out before I left, but I was pretty sick.
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